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Chris Loper

Chris Loper has been writing about self-improvement and helping busy adults with habit formation since 2017. He also writes an education blog for parents and students for Northwest Educational Services. Along with Greg Smith, Chris is the cocreator of Parenting for Academic Success, a series of transformative classes that create empowered parents, confident students, and harmonious families. His most recent endeavor combines his academic and habit-formation expertise to help students thrive in college. Visit SmartCollegeHabits.com to learn more. In 2021, Chris published a humorous memoir titled Wood Floats and Other Brilliant Observations, a book that blends crazy stories with practical life lessons. He lives in Issaquah, WA where he is the owner of South Cove Tutoring.

How to Criticize Without Triggering Defensiveness

Perhaps the only thing harder than receiving criticism without becoming defensive is giving criticism without triggering defensiveness. I, for one, struggle mightily with this. When I criticize someone’s behavior, ask them to do something differently, or point out an error they’ve made, I tend to sound judgmental. It seems that, by default, my tone of voice and choice of words make them feel attacked, so they often get defensive. So,… Read More »How to Criticize Without Triggering Defensiveness

How to Handle Criticism Without Getting Defensive

Few things are harder in life than taking criticism well. I find that anytime someone tells me that I’ve done something wrong, no matter how minor, my brain starts generating a long list of reasons why I’m actually right, why their criticism is irrational, and why they’re actually the ones who have screwed up. This response is, shockingly, not helpful. So I need to get better at taking criticism. And… Read More »How to Handle Criticism Without Getting Defensive

Are You Wearing Pain-Colored Glasses?

If someone is overly optimistic, we say they’re wearing rose-colored glasses. That is, they see the world in a distorted way, making things appear better than they really are. This can cause many problems, which is why I prefer realistic optimism. Rose-colored glasses might make things look nice, but they don’t help you succeed. The opposite affliction, however, is much more common. A great many people see the world through… Read More »Are You Wearing Pain-Colored Glasses?

Suffering = Pain x Resistance

“Most of your suffering isn’t pain. Most of your suffering is the demand that the pain shouldn’t be there. We have pain, and then we have the extra layer of outrage that pain exists, as if life has violated its terms of service.” –Eric Barker For the past decade, my injuries have kept me in some kind of physical pain for most of my waking hours. But am I always… Read More »Suffering = Pain x Resistance

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For over a decade, I’ve been focused on one question: How do we actually become better, in ways that last?

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