You’re driving toward an intersection and the light changes from green to yellow. You’re too far away to make it through before it turns red. What do you do? You slow to a stop, of course. Through your actions, you accept your fate. But do you mentally accept it? Or do you get upset that you missed the light? I hope you accept it because getting upset doesn’t help. It… Read More »Life’s Traffic Lights
Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Motivation: Does it Really Matter? A lot is made of extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation. Here’s a quick breakdown: Extrinsic motivation is when you’re driven by external rewards, like praise, money, and looking good. Intrinsic motivation is when you’re driven by internal rewards, like living up to your own values, doing what you love, and feeling better. And there’s plenty of research showing that intrinsic motivation is more… Read More »The Most Effective Form of Motivation
A psychologist studying the lives of identical twins once interviewed two brothers who had been raised by a father who was a terrible alcoholic. One of the twins was leading a life just like his father’s: struggling with alcoholism, bad finances, and an unhappy family life. “What else could I have done?” he explained. “You know what my father was like.” This was exactly what the researcher had expected to… Read More »Excuses vs. Explanations
I recently read an eye-opening book called Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke, MD. This book breaks down the new neuroscience of pleasure and pain, which is both surprising and practical. Here are the most important takeaways: The Treadmill to Hell You’ve probably heard of the “hedonic treadmill” – the fact that, when we pursue pleasure, the happiness it gives us is fleeting, and we’re left craving more:1 You eat a… Read More »Why Indulgence Makes You Less Happy