You: “Once I take care of this week’s unexpected chores, then I’ll have some breathing room.”
Next week: “Hold my beer.”
The “Yes … Damn!” Effect
Tell me if this sounds familiar:
- You currently feel a little too busy, a tad overscheduled. Your to-do list feels a bit overwhelming.
- Someone asks you to do something in the near future that you either sort of want to do or kind of feel obligated to do.
- You think to yourself, I’m too busy right now, but I’ll have time next week. So you say “Yes.”
- Next week arrives, and you’re just as busy (if not busier), plus you now have an extra obligation because you agreed to that request.
This is known as the “Yes … Damn!” effect.1 We think we’ll be less busy in the future, so we say “Yes” to additional tasks. But when that future comes, we say “Damn!” because we don’t have enough time for the extra responsibilities. So we have to rush, drop things, disappoint people, or neglect our self-care, and generally feel a lot more stressed.
Overcoming The “Yes … Damn!” Effect
Believing we’ll be less busy in the future even though we won’t is a classic cognitive bias. Here are some guidelines that can help us overcome this glitch in our mental software:
- If you don’t have time this week, assume you also won’t have time next week.
- Get clearer on your priorities via layered to-do lists and to-do list categories.
- Use calendar time-blocking to see how much time you really have.
- Remember to account for the planning fallacy: Future tasks will take longer than you think.
- “If you’re not saying ‘HELL YEAH!’ about something, say no.” –Derek Sivers2
- Remember that every time you say “Yes” to something, you’re saying “No” to something else because your time on this earth is limited.
- When considering something you want to do, ask yourself, “What else do I want?” If you realize you have competing desires, ask yourself, “What do I want more?”
Procrastination
The flip side of this is that believing we’ll be less busy in the future is also a source of procrastination.
We put off tasks that need to get done because we mistakenly believe we’ll have more spare time for them in the future. As in, “I can’t clean the garage this week because I’m too busy, but I’ll have time next week.” And then next week feels just as busy, so you feel just as incapable of completing the chore.
We also avoid behavioral change because we mistakenly think it will be easier later. As in, “Right now, I’m too busy to exercise or meal prep, so I’ll start that next month.” And when next month comes with all of its unexpected busyness, you repeat that excuse to yourself.
Your future will probably be just as busy as your present, so don’t let your current busyness cause you to avoid things you really need to do.
(If you want a deep dive into how to overcome procrastination, click here.)
Can you actually be less busy in the future?
Although we’re usually wrong about being less busy in the future, it is possible to be right. But being less busy in the future won’t happen on its own. It requires deliberate effort and strategic planning.
First and foremost, you’ll have to reduce your obligations by saying “No” more often. Will you disappoint some people? Of course. But that’s the trade-off you have to make if you want to be less busy.
Second, you can invest in systems that increase your efficiency.
Think about the tasks you have to do every day, week, or month. Are there any opportunities to automate or delegate these tasks? For example, we use Amazon Subscribe-and-Save to automate the purchase of many of the things we need on a regular basis.
Are there any tools or strategies that could save you time? We don’t have to cook every day because we cook in bulk, which is way more efficient.
Third, and perhaps hardest, reduce time-wasters. How many times per day do you check your phone? What benefit are you getting from checking the news or social media or whatever? None of these instances is a large chunk of time, but they can add up to a lot.
And more importantly, they prevent you from getting the benefits of true downtime, such as time to think and time to recover from stress. Reducing these little time-wasters might not make a big difference in terms of how many spare hours you have in the day, but it will make you feel a lot less busy.
So, will you be less busy in the future?
That depends on the choices you make today.
1“You 2.0: Taking Control of Your Time.” Hidden Brain. August 26, 2024.
Chris Loper has been writing about self-improvement and helping busy adults with habit formation since 2017.
He also writes an education blog for parents and students for Northwest Educational Services.
Along with Greg Smith, Chris is the cocreator of Parenting for Academic Success, a series of transformative classes that create empowered parents, confident students, and harmonious families.
His most recent endeavor combines his academic and habit-formation expertise to help students thrive in college. Visit SmartCollegeHabits.com to learn more.
In 2021, Chris published a humorous memoir titled Wood Floats and Other Brilliant Observations, a book that blends crazy stories with practical life lessons.
He lives in Issaquah, WA where he is the owner of South Cove Tutoring.