If you struggle with self-confidence, you’ve probably already heard all the bad advice out there. You’re told to pump yourself up with can-do platitudes and just “fake it till you make it.” But this just creates a façade of false confidence that you can temporarily hide behind.
What you really want is true confidence.
And as I’ve explained before, true confidence comes from self-efficacy. In that article, I focused on the importance of knowledge, skills, and experience – things that increase your effectiveness. When you actually have the ability to do something, you’ll feel much more confident about trying it.
But I left something out of that article, which is perhaps the most surprising way to increase your self-confidence: sleep.
Getting a good night of sleep is one of the most powerful ways to boost your confidence,1 and unlike the practice of relentless learning, the effects are immediate.
Why does sleep increase self-confidence?
Because when you’re well rested, you feel more capable. You feel more effective.
Think about how you feel when you’re really tired because you didn’t get a good night of sleep. How ready are you to go tackle life’s challenges? How’s your willpower? Exactly.
Compare that to how you feel when you have gotten a good night of sleep several days in a row. Energized. Focused. Capable. In other words, confident – or at least more confident than you feel when you’re sleep-deprived.
Indeed, researchers have found that people with sleep problems tend to be less optimistic and have lower self-esteem than people who get enough sleep.2 And other research has found that not getting adequate sleep can make preexisting anxiety problems worse,3 making people who are already struggling with confidence feel even less self-assured.
Self-Discipline = Self-Confidence
“The mature human being goes about doing what needs to be done regardless of whether that person feels great or terrible. Knowing that you are the kind of person with that kind of self-control brings all the satisfaction and confidence you will ever need.” –David Reynolds3
If you know you have the willpower to do what needs to be done, you’ll feel confident.
The neuroscience behind sleep’s power to boost your self-control is something I detailed in my article on smart willpower strategy. Sleep is essential for your whole brain, but especially for your prefrontal cortex. And when your prefrontal cortex is functioning at its best, you have more willpower, greater focus, and better emotional regulation.4 Other brain health fundamentals help too – especially exercise and nutrition – but sleep is the foundation of it all.5
Furthermore, you can grow your willpower by using it – by taking positive action. And since quality sleep increases your physical and mental energy, it makes it easier to take this sort of action.
Several virtuous cycles are at play here:
- Using willpower to implement healthy sleeping habits leads to increased willpower.
- Increased willpower leads to greater confidence, which facilitates positive action, leading to even more confidence.
- Getting a good night of sleep makes it easier to have a productive day, increasing your pride in yourself. And if you’re anything like me, it’s easier to fall asleep when you’re feeling proud of yourself.
Quick Tips on How to Get Better Sleep
- Exercise regularly.
- Don’t eat within three hours of bedtime (because you want to get a good brain flush).
- Plan out tomorrow.
- Avoid stimulating activities before bed (like email).
- Instead, do something relaxing. Try gratitude journaling and/or pride journaling.
- Avoid screen time before bed5 (and in bed).
- Use blue-light-blocking software (or glasses) if you must use a device.
- Dim the lights in your house.
- Tape your mouth shut so you breathe through your nose.
Get better sleep tonight, and you’ll wake up more confident tomorrow.
1 Inspired by Confidence 101 from Optimize.me
2 Lemola S, Räikkönen K, Gomez V, Allemand M. “Optimism and self-esteem are related to sleep. Results from a large community-based sample.” International Journal of Behavioral Medicine. December 20, 2013.
2 “Sleep and mental health: Sleep deprivation can affect your mental health.” Harvard Mental Health Letter. March 18, 2019.
3 Reynolds, David K. Constructive Living: Outgrow shyness, depression, fear, stress, grief, chronic pain. University of Hawaii Free Press. 1984.
4“What you need to know about willpower: The psychological science of self-control.” American Psychological Association. 2012.
5 Walker, Matthew. Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams. Scribner, 2018.