A little while back, we discussed the problem of ANTs – automatic negative thoughts – and what we can do about them. Let’s add another tool to our ANT-defense toolkit: thought bouncers.
Imagine that your mind is an exclusive night club. There is a bouncer guarding the front door. Lots of thoughts want to get in. But many of these thoughts are unwelcome guests; they are irrational, unfounded, unpleasant, or unhelpful. The bouncer’s job is clear: don’t let them in.
This is another way to play the don’t-believe-everything-you-think game. I like it because the image of a bouncer brings forth a tough and unwavering presence that blocks unwanted thoughts from hanging out in my mind. When I have a thought that I don’t particularly like, I call forth my thought bouncer, who crosses his arms, says “No,” and promptly kicks them out.
Also, imagining your thoughts as other people helps you remember that you are not your thoughts. If you personify your thoughts, then you can ask yourself some empowering questions:
- If this thought were a person, would I want that person to be a guest in my home?
- Would I invite them over for dinner?
- Does this person share my values? Are they a good influence?
If the answer to those questions is no, give them the boot.
This idea comes from Alan Cohen’s book Why Your Life Sucks: And What You Can Do About It
:
“To find your freedom, stand at the doorway of your mind and monitor your thoughts. Notice which ones lift you and which ones drag you down. Then, like a bouncer at an exclusive party, admit only those on the invitation list and send the others back where they came from.”1
1Cohen, Alan. Why Your Life Sucks: And What You Can Do About It. Bantam Books, 2007.