Most people don’t self-identify as perfectionists. In their work, or when doing chores, or in their diets, they’re routinely satisfied with some version of “good enough.” But when these same people are offered a strategy to help with behavioral change, they frequently reject it for perfectionistic reasons, saying things like, “Oh I’ve tried that, and it didn’t always work.”
My response is, “Yeah… But did it work some of the time? Did it improve your odds?”
Effective strategies don’t have to work 100% of the time in order to be effective. As long as they increase the likelihood of success, they’re doing their job. For example, let’s say there’s a 10% chance you’re going to read a book today. If your normal routine after work is to sit down with an iPad or grab the TV remote, you could physically put the book on top of your iPad or TV remote. Perhaps this technique would only increase the likelihood of you reading to 20%, which is far from perfect, but it cost you nothing to do and doubled your odds!
None of the best behavioral change strategies are fool-proof. The 20-Second Rule says that you’ll be more likely to do something if you make it more convenient to do. It doesn’t say that you’ll definitely always do that thing just because it’s convenient. Likewise, using a calendar chain to start a new habit doesn’t guarantee that you’ll never miss a day; it just reminds you to do your habit each day and encourages you to do so, which raises your odds. Getting clear on when, where, and how you intend to do the work greatly increases the likelihood that you’ll do it, but even the best-laid plans sometimes fall apart when the moment arrives.
Think of behavioral change strategies the way a baseball team manager makes decisions. Baseball is a numbers game. Smart managers organize their lineups and call in relief pitchers based on probabilities. No one bats 1000, and no team goes a season without losing, but the teams that use effective strategies tend to do better than their opponents who don’t.
Too often, people adopt an all-or-nothing approach to the tools and tactics of behavioral change. It’s like showing up at a construction job, looking at the available tools, and saying, “These tools aren’t perfect, so I’m not going to use any tools at all!” They want the failure-proof strategy, the silver-bullet technique, but such things don’t exist. The best we can do is adopt strategies that make it slightly easier to make incremental progress. The best we can do is find ways to increase the likelihood that we’ll take steps in the right direction.
P.S. This same problematic perfectionism shows up when people are offered strategies that alleviate depression or increase happiness, such as gratitude journaling.
P.P.S. If you want to explore the topic of perfectionism in more depth click here to learn all the ways it’s harmful and how to overcome it.