Self-Improvement For All the Right Reasons

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Too often, we engage in self-improvement as a form of self-punishment. In Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach explains what looks like to pursue self-improvement for all the wrong reasons:

“We embark on one self-improvement project after another. We strive to meet the media standards for the perfect body and looks by coloring out the gray, lifting our face, being on a perpetual diet. We push ourselves to get a better position at work. We exercise, take enriching courses of study, meditate, make lists, volunteer, take workshops. Certainly any of these activities can be undertaken in a wholesome way, but so often they are driven by anxious undercurrents of ‘not good enough.’ Rather than relaxing and enjoying who we are and what we’re doing, we are comparing ourselves with an ideal and trying to make up for the difference.”¹

Self-improvement should be born out of self-love. We should want to grow, not because we are too small now, and not because we need to prove how big we really are, but because we’re excited to discover and unleash our incredible potential.

You can pursue career growth or entrepreneurship because you want to serve more profoundly, because you want the deep satisfaction of an Ikigai, or because you want freedom. It doesn’t have to be about money or status.

You can utilize to-do lists because they help you prioritize what you really want to do, not because you feel pressured to live a life of non-stop productivity.

You can practice relentless learning because new ideas stoke your curiosity and make you feel alive.

You can eat well and sleep well because it feels good, not because you’re “supposed” to.

You can meditate because it helps you live in line with your values.

You can exercise as a means of feeling better today – feeling more energized, more focused, happier. Put another way:

“Exercise is not a punishment for something you ate; it’s a celebration of what your body can do.” –Anonymous

You are already good enough, so your journey of becoming better is not an effort to catch up to the competition, fix what is supposedly broken, or gain the approval of others. Becoming better is something you do with self-acceptance, self-love, and joy. There’s no endpoint. It’s the journey of your lifetime.

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¹ Brach, Tara. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha. Bantam; Reprint edition, 2004.