“The highest form of leverage is reputation.” –Shane Parrish1
The Temptation of Status
Your social status is your standing relative to other people. Your rank. Your prestige. It’s tempting to pursue status because it feels good to rise within the social hierarchy.
Status usually comes with power. You seem to have more influence. You get your way more often. Whether or not that’s actually a good thing is questionable, but it certainly feels good for a while. The trouble is becoming too accustomed to getting your way. High-status people sometimes become inflexible and fragile, throwing tantrums if things don’t work out as they’d like.
When you have high status, people like you more. Or at least they seem to like they like you more. It can be hard to tell – hard to trust – that the people around you genuinely like you or if they’re only sucking up because of your status. This is a classic problem faced by the rich and famous.
Ego Craves Status
“Ego needs honors in order to be validated. Confidence, on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external recognition.” –Ryan Holiday2
We’re often shocked by people of high status acting extremely self-conscious and insecure. Kanye West. Donald Trump. They have to be better than everyone. They need praise and adoration. Their status has produced an inflated ego, but no true confidence.
Their focus is entirely on presentation – on how they seem. They don’t actually care about substance. About character. About virtue.
Celebrities have high status. Many politician do as well. Some also have a good reputation (Tom Hanks and John McCain come to mind). Those who don’t have a good reputation are the ones we see embroiled in shameful scandals, lawsuits, and even criminal prosecution. Their downfalls are always painfully public.
Because of these examples, we know that status isn’t stable. We know the pursuit of ego is a recipe for unhappiness. But we chase it anyway, when we should really be cultivating our reputation.
The Power of Reputation
Your reputation is what people think of your character. Having a good reputation means being seen as magnanimous and kind, trustworthy and reliable, humble and brave. It comes from living with virtue.
Ironically, one of the best ways to cultivate a good reputation is not what you do in public, but living in line with your values in private. If you’re the kind of person who does what’s right when no one’s looking, when there’s nothing to be gained from it, that character will shine through.
There is often a short-term cost to choosing to live this way. You sacrifice time, energy, and money for the good of other people, sometimes thanklessly. You do the virtuous thing – the right thing – whether or not you want to, regardless of the cost.
In the long run, though, a good reputation is more valuable than high status. Your words and your actions will have more influence. Your relationships will blossom and last. You’ll possess confidence and pride that have nothing to do with ego. You’ll feel a deep, inner satisfaction that doesn’t depend on how you compare to other people or the praise you receive.
Furthermore, high status is often the byproduct of a good reputation. People will trust you with important responsibilities. People will seek out your help and your advice. It’s a slower way to achieve status, but a more reliable one. As status-seekers rise and fall, you plod along slowly and carefully like the proverbial tortoise.
People climb the ladder of status using shortcuts all the time. But there’s no shortcut to a good reputation. It’s a game you play every day, moment by moment, for your whole life.
1Parrish, Shane. “Necessary Virtues.” Brain Food. No. 577. May 19, 2024.
2Holiday, Ryan. Ego is the Emeny. Portfolio, 2016.