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The Uncomfortable Question We All Need To Be Asking

There are two types of role models: good and bad. Actually, both are good. Let me explain. It is, of course, good to be around a person who possesses virtuous qualities and whose exemplary behavior is kind, wise, and effective. Such a person provides a model to follow. But what about someone with undesirable qualities and poor behavior? Such a person actually offers us two benefits, one fairly obvious and… Read More »The Uncomfortable Question We All Need To Be Asking

Shoulds Before Have-To’s

If you’re a grown-up with his or her life in order, you’re probably really good at getting your have-to’s done. You know, the things you actually have to do in order to maintain a job and a home: getting to work on time, paying the bills, buying groceries, etc. You probably also have in your mind a few things you think you should* do that you’re not doing very often,… Read More »Shoulds Before Have-To’s

What We Can Learn About Rest From Toddlers

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time with my nephew Max. He’s two. Max is an energetic, playful child who, like all two-year-olds, has very little self-awareness. Most notably, he seems to have no awareness of when he is tired. Luckily, his parents can tell. When Max starts to get tired, he becomes increasingly prone to frustration, crying, and general crankiness. In response, my brother and his wife impose… Read More »What We Can Learn About Rest From Toddlers

How To Make Change Stick

Self-improvement is driven by behavioral change: quitting bad habits, starting good habits, or simply doing more of what works (thank you James Clear). And if behavioral change is going to stick, then your new ways of acting will need to become ingrained deeply into your sense of self. You’ll need to change your identity. But how do you change your sense of self? The answer is spaced repetition. Spaced repetition… Read More »How To Make Change Stick

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For over a decade, I’ve been focused on one question: How do we actually become better, in ways that last?

This blog shares the lessons, tools, and ideas I’ve found most useful—grounded in research and experience.

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