Self-improvement takes patience and commitment. This is because of two phenomena: The Lag and The Dip. The Lag “Just because results are not visible doesn’t mean they are not accumulating.” –Shane Parrish1 In 1979, Bill Walsh took over the San Francisco 49ers. They were, at that time, the worst team in football. Walsh took pains to change the culture from one of losing to one of excellence. “Players could not… Read More »The Lag and The Dip
You want to get a lot done. You should get a lot done. You should exercise for 40 minutes. You should write for two hours. You should clean the whole house. But you don’t feel like you can do a lot, so you do nothing. Doing a little wouldn’t be worth it, you think. But doing a little is actually a prerequisite for doing a lot. It’s literally impossible to… Read More »You Can’t Do a Lot Without Doing a Little
The standard way to approach a relationship is what I call the “50/50 mindset.” Each person contributes half to make a whole. This sounds reasonable and fair, which is why it’s ubiquitous. Here’s a visual: Unfortunately, the 50/50 mindset has a number of shortcomings that explain why 50/50 relationships don’t work. The Trouble With 50/50 Relationships It’s human nature to be biased about your social contributions.1,2,3 Because of this, you… Read More »Why 50/50 Relationships Don’t Work
The strain of lifting a heavy weight. The huffing and puffing as you run the last mile. The struggle to keep your mind from wandering during meditation. Wrestling with confusion as you learn a new math topic. Facing the discomfort of a cold shower. Resisting the temptation to eat during a fast. These things might not feel good, but they are good. The point of doing these things is to… Read More »It’s Not Supposed to be Easy