Improving Your Willpower Identity

I used to see myself as someone with very weak willpower. I had poor self-discipline and limited self-control. I was prone to addictions. I was lazy.

Or so I thought. I was, unconsciously, cherry-picking evidence of my lack of willpower, perhaps in order to justify taking the easy road, skipping workouts, eating sugar, and remaining an addict. An honest, unbiased assessment would have revealed that I did, in fact, have a decent amount of willpower. There was certainly room for improvement in my actual level of willpower, but the most important thing I needed to do was improve my willpower identity.

Your Beliefs About Willpower Matter

Some research seems to show that willpower is like a muscle: It gets fatigued by use in the short term, but it can be strengthened in the long term.¹ However, other research seems to show that believing you have a great deal of willpower is a self-fulfilling prophecy: Believing you have strong willpower results in greater willpower than you would otherwise have.² You put forth greater effort; you try harder. And, insidiously, the reverse is true: Believing you have very little willpower causes you to have less willpower than you ought to. You give up easily or never try at all. Either way, you prove yourself right.

So what are we to do?

Well, the first line of research is important, so we shouldn’t ignore that. It’s useful to think of willpower as a muscle because it encourages us to simultaneously work to strengthen our willpower and strategically using less of it. But it’s also critical to work on developing a stronger belief in our own willpower. It’s important to cultivate a strong willpower identity.

Luckily, the way to strengthen your willpower muscle is also the most powerful way to improve your willpower identity. Anytime you use your willpower, you’ll be exercising your willpower muscle, thereby strengthening it. At the same time, you’ll be proving to yourself that you do, in fact, have willpower.

Exercising willpower improves your willpower identity because of self-perception: Your brain observes your own behavior and uses it as evidence of who you are. Thus, it’s possible, through your own actions, to increasingly self-identify as someone with greater willpower. This is a critical insight for anyone who thinks or feels like they don’t have any willpower. Actions have the power to change how you think and feel; you can take charge of the feedback loop that controls your life.

But if you presently have a very weak willpower identity, just getting started will be quite difficult. So it is essential that you understand that it will get easier. You’ll have to force yourself at first, and you’ll have to “start before you feel ready,”³ but you can build positive momentum. Every time you use willpower, even a small amount, you’re engaging in the spaced-repetition that makes behavioral change stick.

A Grab Bag of Tools

In no particular order, here are several ways to enhance your willpower identity:

• Keep track of daily habits, such as meditation, using a calendar chain or some other effort-tracking method. Over time, you’ll build up a record your willpower use that you can employ to counteract negative beliefs about your capacity for self-discipline.
• Include achievement reminders in your home or office decorations. Use these to remind yourself of times when you exerted a great deal of willpower to accomplish a major goal.
• After overcoming procrastination and completing a task that you didn’t want to do, say “That’s like me,”⁴ to reinforce a strong willpower identity.
• Practice pride journaling: At the end of the day, jot down a few things you’re proud of yourself for doing – things that required willpower.
• Start your day with a cold (or partially cold) shower. Personally, I do a cold-hot-cold routine for my showers. When I step into the shower and choose to blast myself with cold water, I’m actively choosing something uncomfortable. In doing so, I’m proving to myself that I have the willpower to handle and even choose discomfort.
• Take care of little chores before tackling major work that you don’t feel you have the willpower for. Seeing that you have the willpower to do the dishes might help you realize that you have the willpower to begin a daunting work project.
• Similarly, tidying up your environment has been shown to enhance willpower, perhaps because it has a positive impact on your willpower identity. “You may not care about whether your bed is made and your desk is clean, but these environmental cues subtly influence your brain and your behavior, making it ultimately less of a strain to maintain self-discipline. Order seems to be contagious.”¹

My Life as a Case Study

By employing these strategies, overcoming addiction, and steadily rewiring my brain, I’ve shifted my willpower identity. I now see myself as someone with strong and ever-growing willpower. I have proceeded with realistic optimism, blending caution, strategy, and a growth mindset. I’m still aware that I’m prone to addictions – I’m still wary of The River – but I no longer see myself as someone with poor willpower, and I’m proving myself right every day.

¹ Baumeister, Roy F., and John Tierney. Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. Penguin Group, 2011.

² Job, V., et al. (2010). “Ego depletion — Is it all in your head? Implicit theories about willpower affect self-regulation.” Psychological Science, 21(11), 1686–1693.

³ Clear, James. “Successful People Start Before They Feel Ready.”

⁴ Bassham, Lanny. With Winning in Mind: The Mental Management System. Mental Management System, 2011.