People
That coworker you don’t like? Think of something good about them – a strength, an admirable trait, a positive behavior. Surely there’s something.
Do this to remind yourself that absolutist thinking is flawed.
Also do it to reduce your dislike of that person. Absolutely disliking them makes you unhappy and makes your relationship with them unproductive. Every interaction you have with them will be better if you can remember that they’re not all bad.
Politics
That political policy you think is obviously, absolutely good? Well, it actually isn’t good for some people, or it isn’t good from some people’s honest perspective.
True, some of the people who are against that policy are misinformed or, more rarely, corrupt. But most aren’t. They just see the world differently than you do. They have different values and different priorities. They’re not stupid or evil.
This doesn’t mean you should stop supporting the policy, but you’ll have a much more productive debate if you can see that nothing is absolutely good. There’s always a cost.
The way to advocate for a policy is not to ignore the cost or pretend it doesn’t exist, but to explain why the cost is worth it. The pros may indeed outweigh the cons, but you still need to be aware of the cons, plan for them, mitigate what you can, and accept what you can’t.
Beliefs
That belief you hold to be true? It’s probably an oversimplification.
Because reality is complicated, the truth usually is too.
Nuance, exceptions, gray areas – these are the norm. Most absolute beliefs aren’t absolutely true. Part of facing life head-on is seeing reality for what it is: messy.
Embracing Complexity
People are complicated. The world is complicated. Embrace this complexity and you’ll be better able to engage with life.
P.S. Fittingly, there is at least one important exception to this advice: the principle of 100% commitment. If you’re addicted to alcohol or some other drug, quitting will require an absolute commitment to lifelong sobriety.