Apparently, we’ve all been reading The Declaration of Independence wrong. In Happy for No Reason, Marci Shimoff explains what “the pursuit of happiness” actually meant: “Back in Jefferson’s day… the common usage of the word ‘pursue’ was not ‘to chase after.’ In 1776, to pursue something meant to practice that activity, to do it regularly, to make a habit of it.”1 So Jefferson meant that we should be free to… Read More »Don’t Chase Happiness, Practice It
What are feelings? What is pain, pleasure, hot, cold, an itch, or a tickle? On a purely physical level, feelings are just nerve signals – neurons firing in your body to communicate with your brain. What about feelings within your brain? Fear, confidence, sadness, happiness, and the like? These are just nerve signals too – patterns of neurons firing in your brain. Nerve signals are neutral. There is nothing inherently… Read More »They’re Just Nerve Signals
The following was inspired by this Heroic +1 from Brian Johnson. How to be Grateful for the Annoyances of Family Think of something annoying that a member of your household does. Maybe it’s leaving a mess on the counter. Maybe it’s not picking up their toys. Maybe it’s tracking kitty litter in the hallway. Now imagine that annoying thing has disappeared. Not because they stopped doing the thing, but because… Read More »How to Turn Annoyance into Gratitude
I used to struggle mightily with emotional regulation. A slight worry with a sprinkling of stress would lead to anxious rumination and catastrophizing. A minor frustration would lead to righteous anger, which would sometimes spiral out of control into full-blown rage, followed by shame and desperate sadness. Eventually, I found the solution in one of the core tenets of Stoic philosophy. It’s a common misconception that to be a Stoic… Read More »The Key to Emotional Regulation