You want to get a lot done. You should get a lot done. You should exercise for 40 minutes. You should write for two hours. You should clean the whole house. But you don’t feel like you can do a lot, so you do nothing. Doing a little wouldn’t be worth it, you think. But doing a little is actually a prerequisite for doing a lot. It’s literally impossible to… Read More »You Can’t Do a Lot Without Doing a Little
The standard way to approach a relationship is what I call the “50/50 mindset.” Each person contributes half to make a whole. This sounds reasonable and fair, which is why it’s ubiquitous. Here’s a visual: Unfortunately, the 50/50 mindset has a number of shortcomings that explain why 50/50 relationships don’t work. The Trouble With 50/50 Relationships It’s human nature to be biased about your social contributions.1,2,3 Because of this, you… Read More »Why 50/50 Relationships Don’t Work
The strain of lifting a heavy weight. The huffing and puffing as you run the last mile. The struggle to keep your mind from wandering during meditation. Wrestling with confusion as you learn a new math topic. Facing the discomfort of a cold shower. Resisting the temptation to eat during a fast. These things might not feel good, but they are good. The point of doing these things is to… Read More »It’s Not Supposed to be Easy
Pride is often described as bad. It’s associated with overconfidence,1 ego, and arrogance. Pride is sometimes at the root of racism and xenophobia.2 It can blind us to our shortcomings, leading to failure. “Pride cometh before the fall,” they say. But pride can also be good. Being proud of who you are helps you stand up for yourself when others put you down. Being proud of your hard work reinforces… Read More »Is Pride Good or Bad?