If someone is overly optimistic, we say they’re wearing rose-colored glasses. That is, they see the world in a distorted way, making things appear better than they really are. This can cause many problems, which is why I prefer realistic optimism. Rose-colored glasses might make things look nice, but they don’t help you succeed.
The opposite affliction, however, is much more common.
A great many people see the world through pain-colored glasses. That is, they interpret everything through the lens of depression, anxiety, disability, injustice, or trauma.1 I don’t mean to belittle these problems. They are very much real, and I have suffered some myself. But it is a tragedy to allow them to define your worldview.
Your pain is a part of who you are. You must not let it become all of who you are. You are also defined by the choices you make in spite of your pain. You are also a person with passions and strengths. You are also resilient. You are also lucky to be alive.
Self-pity and pessimism are understandable, but they don’t help. In fact, they prevent you from being of service to yourself and to others.
So take off your pain-colored glasses and see the world as it really is. There is good, and there is bad – but that’s not the point. The point is that you have the power to reduce the bad and increase the good, little by little, day by day.
1This was inspired by Steven C. Hayes, author of Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life, who writes that you can “learn to look at your pain, rather than seeing the world from the vantage point of your pain.” (emphasis mine)
Chris Loper has been writing about self-improvement and helping busy adults with habit formation since 2017.
He also writes an education blog for parents and students for Northwest Educational Services.
Along with Greg Smith, Chris is the cocreator of Parenting for Academic Success, a series of transformative classes that create empowered parents, confident students, and harmonious families.
His most recent endeavor combines his academic and habit-formation expertise to help students thrive in college. Visit SmartCollegeHabits.com to learn more.
In 2021, Chris published a humorous memoir titled Wood Floats and Other Brilliant Observations, a book that blends crazy stories with practical life lessons.
He lives in Issaquah, WA where he is the owner of South Cove Tutoring.