A habit is like a hill that’s steep and muddy at the bottom, but which levels off and becomes less slippery as you go up. At first, it’s very hard to get a foothold and make progress. It’s really easy to slip back down to the bottom. But if you can make it past the difficult beginning, continued progress gets easier and easier.
This is similar to how memory works because learning and habit formation are both fundamentally about creating and strengthening neural connections. You need lots of repetition to establish long-lasting neural pathways.
The Beginning is the Hardest
One important takeaway from this metaphor is that the beginning is the hardest part. You need to expect it to be hard at the start. If you think it’ll be easy, you’ll give up as soon as your motivation flags.
This is why it’s unwise to start several habits at the same time. You’d be doing the hardest part of each of them all at once, which is too big of a drain on your willpower. Think long-term. Be patient. Pick one thing and really commit to getting it up and running before adding another habit.
Consistency is Key
When you’re early on in a habit – say, the first six months – you can’t stand still for long. The hill is too steep, too slick; you’ll slide backwards and have to start over. Ideally, you’ll never miss a day, but you must never ever miss two days in a row. The muddy slope rewards forward momentum and punishes backsliding.
On the days you want to skip, instead, give yourself permission to do a bad job of your habit rather than skipping entirely. Do a short workout where you don’t push yourself. Meditate for just a few minutes. Write one sentence. Read one page. It might feel pointless to do so little, but it’s not, as James Clear explains:
“Keeping the habit alive is a powerful act. It’s easier to stay in shape than to get in shape. It’s easier to keep a house clean than to get it clean. Many days it may feel like you are treading water, but maintaining your progress saves your future self a great deal of work.”1
The Muddy Slope Does Flatten Out … Eventually
Consistency is key, especially at the beginning. And the beginning probably lasts longer than you think. People talk about habits being formed in two weeks or 21 days or some other random number. The truth is that a habit isn’t formed until it has become an automatic part of your routine and an integrated part of your identity. And that can take many months.
The hill does flatten out and become less muddy. It will get easier. You can count on that. But don’t expect it to get easy any time soon. By expecting to struggle, you’ll be prepared to struggle. This will keep you vigilant, disciplined, and resilient – everything you need to truly build a good habit.
1https://x.com/JamesClear/status/1572586445914546176
Chris Loper has been writing about self-improvement and helping busy adults with habit formation since 2017.
He also writes an education blog for parents and students for Northwest Educational Services.
Along with Greg Smith, Chris is the cocreator of Parenting for Academic Success, a series of transformative classes that create empowered parents, confident students, and harmonious families.
His most recent endeavor combines his academic and habit-formation expertise to help students thrive in college. Visit SmartCollegeHabits.com to learn more.
In 2021, Chris published a humorous memoir titled Wood Floats and Other Brilliant Observations, a book that blends crazy stories with practical life lessons.
He lives in Issaquah, WA where he is the owner of South Cove Tutoring.