Having a brain is weird.
You have a brain, but you also kind of are your brain. I mean, as far as we know you wouldn’t exist without your brain.
Sometimes you choose to think about something, but a lot of the time, thoughts just seem to happen on their own. You can direct your behavior, but sometimes you find yourself doing something without thinking about it or choosing to do it. We don’t seem to have as much control over our brains as we would like.
As a result, brains do all sorts of things we wish they wouldn’t do. Brains forget things, like the name of the person we met last weekend or that formula we need for the math test. Brains generate unkind or unpleasant thoughts over and over again.1 They make us feel bad, sometimes for no apparent reason.
The human brain is the most complex thing we have yet discovered, so it makes sense that it’s harder to operate than a car or a coffee maker. To get better at having/being a brain, it would be nice if there were some guidelines – an owner’s manual, of sorts.
So, without further ado, here are five rules for having a brain.
1. Having a brain is really cool.
I know I just described a bunch of reasons why having a brain is difficult, but take a minute to marvel at just how amazing it is to have a brain.
Your brain allows you to learn and understand interesting things. It allows you to connect and communicate with others. It gives you the power to be creative and to enjoy the creativity of others. It is through your brain that you experience joy, love, and wonder.
Furthermore, your brain is cosmologically special. You are not just in the universe, you are of the universe. And as such, your brain is a way for the universe to experience itself.
Most atoms are not aware that they are atoms, but you know that you’re a collection of atoms.
Okay, now on to the more practical rules.
2. You don’t have to believe or act upon everything you think and feel.
Many of your thoughts are irrational, unproductive, or both.2 When someone is rude to you, your first thought might be, Wow! What a jackass! But that’s rarely accurate or helpful. The person in question is likely acting rudely because of circumstances you’re unaware of (they’re having a bad day/week/year) or because they’ve suffered a momentary lapse of judgment and courtesy (it happens to all of us). Writing them off as a jerk eliminates the possibility of positive interactions in the future, which hurts both of you. It’s far better to give them the benefit of the dumb.
Likewise, your emotions often lie to you. For example, when a person is depressed, they’ll feel like they can’t connect with other people, and they’ll feel like reaching out to other people wouldn’t help anyway, so they’ll isolate themselves. But these feelings are bullshit. They can connect with others, and it will help. Or if you feel angry, you might be inspired to yell or be violent, but these aren’t productive responses.
No matter what the situation, and no matter what you’re thinking or how you’re feeling, you always have the power to choose a virtuous response.3
3. You can change your brain.
The superpower of the human brain is adaptability.
The things you learn, think, and do rewire your brain.4 Areas of the brain you use frequently grow denser, like muscles that grow stronger with exercise. When you change your behavior, your thoughts and feelings change too.5
And since you can change your brain, you can change your mind. You can let go of limiting beliefs you’ve held for years. You can choose a better self-identity. You can swap out long-ingrained bad habits for healthy ones.
4. Your brain is a physical organ.
To have a well-functioning brain you have to take good care of its physical needs. Nutritious food,6 water, exercise,7 relaxation, proper breathing,8 and sleep9 are all essential for brain health.
When you feel bad, it might be because of some deep-rooted, complicated psychological issue. Or maybe you’re just hungry. I’m not saying you should never explore and address those tricky psychological issues. I’m saying you should start with your physical needs because:
- Addressing your brain’s physical needs might cause your other problem to evaporate, or
- The deeper problem will be much easier to address after your basic needs have been met.
5. You will frequently forget Rules 1-4.
Were any of the previous rules very surprising?
Probably not.
These are all things that we already know. The problem is we routinely forget them and live our lives as if:
- Having a brain is unremarkable,
- Every thought and feeling we have is true/must be acted upon,
- We can’t change, and
- Our brain is a mysterious black box that’s immune to physical needs.
Thus, we need regular reminders of these brain rules.
Therapy and coaching can be a source of such reminders. So can the habit of consuming some wisdom each day. Blogs, books, and podcasts can help too.
Rule 5 reminds me of the idea that “The most important lesson of history is that people don’t learn from history.”10
The most important brain rule is that you will forget all the other brain rules. So don’t let this happen. Set up some method (or methods) to be reminded of these principles on a regular basis.
1 Loper, Chris. Got ANTs?
2 Loper, Chris. Don’t Believe Everything You Think.
3 Frankl, Viktor. Man’s Search For Meaning.
4 Loper, Chris. “Molding Minds: Neuroplasticity.” Northwest Educational Services.
5 Loper, Chris. The Feedback Loop That Controls Your Life … And How To Master It.
6 Loper, Chris. “Brain Food.” Northwest Educational Services.
7 Loper, Chris. “Your Brain Loves Exercise.” Northwest Educational Services.
8 Loper, Chris. The Benefits of Taping Your Mouth Shut at Night.
9 Loper, Chris. “Why Sleep is so Important for Learning.” Northwest Educational Services.
10 There are two potential sources of this idea, both expressed a bit differently from what I’ve written here: Aldous Huxley and Georg Hegel.